Round Three and Kicking!

The past two months have been a rollercoaster, and I can now safely say that I am ready to begin anew... again. I know, I know, not the best way to gain readers. Let me tell you, if I'd had the energy, I would have kept blogging. I did two posts this summer, but then gave up when it got to be too much, and I needed to simplify.

In May, we miscarried at 9 weeks, just after I started this blog. We moved forward, we grieved, and then, much to our surprise, on July 22nd, I was late in my cycle, peed on the proverbial stick and it said... Pregnant.

I know. Fast. Both my husband and I looked at one another and went "Uhhh, ok?" and didn't try to get too excited until we made it past the 12 week mark. We decided to keep it very mum. I told one person at work just in case something happened, she would know what was going on. We didn't even spill to parents or close friends. I did not want to go through what we did when we miscarried. We goofed and told people early, and shouldn't have.

I wrote a couple of posts here as I got used to the idea of being pregnant yet again (without spilling yon beans about the bean), and then first trimester tiredness and overwhelmed mama came into play as we dealt with my unruly and recalcitrant body. I slept a lot. OK, so I was a sloth.

A big, pregnant, Diabetic sloth.

Despite our hesitation at welcoming this pregnancy, and as I had decided upon the miscarriage in May, I began testing my sugars with the remaining testing strips I had in my possession right away. From the last go-around, I knew my levels were likely to be all over the map, and this way, I would be prepared, and perhaps we could get my levels under control a bit sooner, and prevent another miscarriage, if that was the problem last time.

My home testing came back all wonky and I realized it was time to get into gear getting the doctors on board. Within two weeks, I had a random fasting blood sugar done just to see where I was at, and blammo, it came back high. Like frosting-for-blood-pancreas-on-a-holiday high.

I did the two-hour glucose tolerance test after that (for what reason I did not know, they wanted to do it), and my levels were 16 mmol/L at one hour, and 19 mmol/L at two hours. Ummm yeah folks, I coulda told you that. I'll never forget the Diabetic nurse's face when she saw the results of those tests in my chart. I guess that is abnormally high for 7 weeks pregnant, because she was amazed. *blink*

The Diabetes doctor I saw first off was wondering if was indeed type 2 Diabetic between pregnancies. According to my GP, and our regular 6 month tests, I'm not. I had to get my GP to forward all the tests he had done for the last two years, since my body was acting like a fully Diabetic machine-o-sugar, and they didn't believe me.

I registered again at the high risk unit of the Hospital where I had my first child, where I saw both the Diabetes Nurse and Doctor. The intake nurses remembered me, surprisingly, and with my very bored husband in tow, we ran the gamut, as well as spent some time with the nutritionist.

Cue sweeping diet and routine changes, plus crazy amounts of perscriptions here. I walked back into my house with boxes of needles, lancets, test strips, and insulin.

We are at 14 weeks now, officially into second trimester. First ultrasound to do IPS screening showed a very normal and bang-on to my estimates baby. We are due March 23rd, 2011. He (or she) was quite active, had a great heart beat, and seemed happy in there. *poke*

The bad news out of all this is that I am fully insulin dependant. I take, via needles, NPH (Humulin) before bed, and again when I wake up. I take fast acting insulin (Humalog) before each meal. The Humalog is on a sliding scale, based on my reading before the meal. The higher the reading, the more units I take.

Let's say that it has been a large adjustment. Partially familiar from my last full-term pregnancy, partially all new, since I am finding it much harder to control this time around. Foods I could have last time I can't touch, and foods I couldn't touch before I can have. Sugar alcohols are causing me more problems, and sugar-free ice cream is a rare treat now. Rice? Yeah, don't even talk to me about rice.... And my wonderbread peanut butter and banana sandwiches? *sob* But pasta, pasta I can tolerate in properly carb-counted portions.

My levels are a moving target as I progress, just like last time. This can be frustrating, maddening, and defeating. And the Diabetic Doctor says this is the easy part of the pregnancy. Oh joy!

I asked if what I was on was a large amount of insulin, and apparently it is not, yet. The Diabetes Doctor told me about one (anonymous) lucky woman who was taking 200 units of insulin a day in the later part of her pregnancy. They had run out of places to stab the needles into her poor, tired flesh. I shuddered. The Doctor said that even with that large amount of insulin, her levels were out of control, and she had a rather large baby. I asked how much of that was diet control, and she grimaced and said "most of it was lack of diet control". Ah-huh. Got ya beat sista. I have a husband who has taken on the Diabetic Challenge in keeping my levels ok.

So here we go again, round three. So far, so good, and more to come! Wish us luck, good eating, and the ability to find a winter coat that will go around this mama's already showing tummy!

I've got what?

"I've got what?" were the first words out of my mouth as I stood at the nurse's desk that day. I was pregnant, around 18 weeks in, and a nurse primly informed me I had Gestational Diabetes Mellitus. I suppose I had the deer-in-headlights look, because she started speaking to me as if I was twelve, and gently led me (and my apoplectic husband) to a chair in the waiting room and told to "wait for a nurse". Oi.

I had no idea the journey that simple statement would send me on. If I'd known, I would have... well, I have no idea what I would have done, but it likely involved chocolate.

What followed that whirlwind headache-inducing first briefing with a Diabetes nurse was a few weeks of fear, anxiety, frustration, and severe sugar cravings for Pineapple Dairy Queen sundaes. With the help of a Diabetes doctor, nurse, dietitian, high-risk nurse, experimental hubby-chef, Splenda and countless Internet searches, I did manage to tame the Diabetes beast, and had a beautiful healthy baby boy who, against all odds, was not eleventy-billion pounds and roly-poly.

I was blessed, and all my hard work had paid off. And let me tell you, it is hard work figuring out what you can eat, what you can't, when to test your sugars, how to give yourself needles, and having low blood sugar attacks when you are out for groceries, being forced to tear into a box of crackers because you forgot your glucose tablets. And on top of that, you have to figure it all out in less than nine months. Yikes!

Now that I am pregnant again, I knew I would have to go through the gauntlet of blood glucose testing, insulin, diet changes and low-carb bread that turns to packing styrofoam when toasted. I was quietly determined not to let the eventual diagnosis ruin a perfectly good barbeque season, or a trip to my favorite ice cream place (planned forthwith before my sugars could go all wacky, like last time). I was prepared, like any good Girl Scout, and took my glucose tester and insulin pens out of storage and gave them a good inspection, ready to go when we were told to go get test strips. I even put a lock on the drawer to keep them in, so that my curious toddler stayed safe. Go mama!

My diagnosis has come early this time, at 9 weeks gestation. It wasn't totally unexpected, based on my research that said if you had GDM in your last pregnancy, guess what, your odds are great you're gonna get it again. I wasn't prepared to deal with in first trimester. I have 31 weeks to go!

I'm not so afraid this time, more resigned to the fact I cannot have cinnamon buns, cream in my coffee, or Wonder bread peanut butter and banana sandwiches for awhile. I have formally relinquished my stash of Dove chocolate, and the jelly beans on my work desk got given away. I have said goodbye to Fettuccine Alfredo, fries, and yes, ice cream.

As I say to my husband, its not about me anymore, its the health of the wee teeny peanut down there that makes me cry if I listen to country music. It is my responsibility to ensure said Peanut can be born healthy. If that means I can't have Godiva truffles or Chicken Fried Rice, then so be it.

As I perused the Internet for low-carb recipes and poked around the iPhone App store for Glucose logs, I also looked for a way to share my experience with other moms who have gone through this battle with their own bodies. Not so much for information on "How-to-beat-GDM" but more of the life stories, the emotions, the hardships, the failed attempts at low-carb cookies, and coping strategies. I was at a low point when I searched, feeling alone in my struggle (with no chocolate to soothe me!), and I closed my FireFox sadly. I found a few personal blogs, but not many, and none that I could say were current.

Note: If you have a great GDM blog to recommend, please let me know!

Even though I felt alone, I know I am far from the only woman with GDM. According to the Canadian Diabetes Association, Gestational Diabetes affects approximately 2 to 4 per cent of all pregnancies in Canada (in the non-Aboriginal population). If you add in our Native Canadian population, that number skyrockets, since they are a spectrum of the population more susceptible to Diabetes and GDM. Source: http://www.diabetes.ca/about-diabetes/what/facts/.

So, since I am a blogger by nature, I decided maybe instead of searching for camaraderie in my journey, I should create a blog about my pregnancy with Gestational Diabetes! One where I can share the things that have worked for me, the down days, my own experiences, the funny things, the process. Maybe other moms would come to my blog and share their experiences if I did that.

So here I am. Here in this space, I am going to share my walk with Gestational Diabetes, my ups and downs, my favorite meals, recipes, cheats, funny stories, and maybe even research and news I come across. I hope that you, the Gestational Diabetic mom (or sister, brother, spouse of a GDM mom) reading this, will share your experience with me, and we can walk this journey together.

Thanks, and chat with you again soon!